Mid-Week Bible Study (March 24 2010)

The Living Rock Church of Iloilo City
MID-WEEK BIBLE STUDY
March 24, 2010

Text: Matthew 5:38-42

Series Title
THE COMMANDMENTS OF CHRIST

Bible Study Lesson
COMMANDMENT #9 – GO THE SECOND MILE

by Pastor Norman S. Lao


Introduction
Commandment #1 – REPENT
Commandment #2 – FOLLOW ME
Commandment #3 – REJOICE
Commandment #4 – LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE
Commandment #5 – HONOR GOD’S LAW
Commandment #6 – BE RECONCILED
Commandment #7 – DO NOT LUST
Commandment #8 – KEEP YOUR WORD – BE HONEST

We have already studied eight of Jesus’ commands. When we obey these commands they produce Christ-likeness in us because they are intended to reproduce the Character of Christ (fruit of the Spirit, Galatians 5:22,23). The more we obey these commands the more we become like Christ.

Tonight we are going to study the 9th Command of Christ: GO THE SECOND MILE.

I. Understanding the Command

Besides making us more Christlike, these commands, when obeyed, also make us UNIQUE and ATTRACTIVE to the people of the world. It is when we disobey these commands that we become ordinary, common and unattractive.

One command that will truly make us attractive as followers of Christ is the command to GO THE SECOND MILE.

To understand this one must go back to the time of Christ. During those times the Jews were under the Romans. The Romans made a law requiring all Jews to carry any Roman Soldier’s burden for a maximum of one mile. They had no choice, they were obligated by law to obey. If they disobeyed they can end up in jail.

Just imagine losing time earning a living to help a Roman (pagan, therefore hated) soldier with his baggage. We can only imagine the reaction of the Jews who heard Jesus say, “walk not one, but two miles.” This is where the expression “second mile” came from.

The expression “go the second mile” means
1. To do MORE than what is required.
2. To go BEYOND the minimum.
3. To do your BEST in all things.
4. To do MORE than what is expected.
5. To make SACRIFICES for a higher cause.

The opposite of this is “doing the bare minimum.”

Most people will only do what is required or expected of them. Christians on the other hand are commanded to be DIFFERENT.
We should not only be different because we do not drink or smoke or swear or gossip or lie. As good as these things are our difference from the world should not be limited to these things. Our uniqueness should be deeper than this – we must go the second mile.

Christianity is not simply a NOT DOING – it is also a DOING. Many Christians are not smoking and drinking, but they are not loving or caring. There should be a balance here.

II. Applying the Command

You must understand that this is not simply a PRINCIPLE that you apply for success. This is a COMMAND of Christ that we must obey.

A. To do good to those who do good to you is simply “going the first mile.” To do good to those who hate you and abuse you is “going the second mile.”

B. To love those who love you is the first mile. To love your enemy is the second mile. (Matthew 5:44-48)

Jesus did not simply teach this but exemplified it on the cross. On the cross Christ died for His enemies.

C. To give to those who gave to you is the first mile (that’s why there’s really no virtue in exchange gifts). To give to those who never gave to you and those who cannot give back to you is the second mile. (Luke 14:12-14)

D. A clear Biblical Example of going the second mile: The “Good” Samaritan (Luke 10)

• He helped a stranger.
• He put aside his own schedule.
• He endangered himself.
• He put him on his donkey while he walked.
• He spent more than enough.
• He did not leave him until the man was safe.
• He followed up the man.

The priest and the Levite did not even do the first mile.

You don’t need to be a Christian to do the first mile. Only a true Christian can do the second mile.

Going the second mile should be motivated by our love for our Lord. Only those who are truly in love with God can do the second mile.

Conclusion
Are you going the second mile?

GO THE SECOND MILE! Be different! Be unique! Be a true follow of Jesus Christ!

Mid-Week Bible Study (March 17 2010)

The Living Rock Church of Iloilo City
MID-WEEK BIBLE STUDY
March 17, 2010

Text: Matthew 5:33-37

Series Title
THE COMMANDMENTS OF CHRIST

Bible Study Lesson
COMMANDMENT #8 – KEEP YOUR WORD

by Pastor Norman S. Lao


Introduction
Commandment #1 – REPENT
Commandment #2 – FOLLOW ME
Commandment #3 – REJOICE
Commandment #4 – LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE
Commandment #5 – HONOR GOD’S LAW
Commandment #6 – BE RECONCILED
Commandment #7 – DO NOT LUST

Our lesson tonight will cover the EIGHTH Command of Christ found in Matthew 5:33-37 which is KEEP YOUR WORD (or TELL THE TRUTH).

“Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.’ But I tell you, ‘Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem , for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” (NIV)

I. Understanding the Command

Let us first define some words here:

A. Oath – a solemn pledge to do something, like taking an oath to tell the truth in court.

B. Swear – this is not the present common understanding of speaking bad words (swearing or cursing) , but it is more of supporting one’s words or claims by calling on the Name of God (“I swear on God that I am telling the truth!” or “I swear on my mother’s grave....”) or by adding things like, “cross my heart, hope to die.”

According to our text, anything added to our “Yes” and “No” comes from evil.

C. Vow – a solemn promise to perform an act, carry out an activity, or behave in a given way.

Ecclesiastes 5:4-5

4 When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow . 5 It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.

D. Lie – to deliberately say something that is untrue; to say something untrue in a conscious effort to deceive somebody.

What is being commanded in this passage?

The bottom line of the command is BE TRUTHFUL! This is a command to honesty. A lot of people use the name of God to “prove” that they are telling the truth. “God is my witness, I am telling the truth!” To an honest person, however, THIS IS NOT NECESSARY. A “Yes” and a “No” is enough.

Sometimes, we use the expression “To tell you the truth....” or “To be honest with you....” If we come to think of it, what we are actually trying to say is we were not truthful or honest BEFORE we say this.

Lying (dishonesty) is prevalent in all fallen societies. From the president and public officials, to business people, down to the ordinary citizens, lying has become a way of life. For people outside of Christ, lying is “natural.” But remember: just because a lot of people are doing it doesn’t make it right.

People lie for the following reasons:

1. Avoid Punishment

Lying is often used to avoid punishment or possible rejection. By nature, people are designed to avoid harm and punishment, even if individuals have to lie in order to do so. Children pick-up this skill early in life and people continue to lie as adults.

2. Seek Approval

Not only are people designed to avoid punishment, but people universally have a need for approval. Lying and deception are often used to create a favorable image or impression. People will go to great lengths, even using deception, if necessary, to create a positive image. Often this involves some self-deception as well – people start to believe their own false image is true.

3. Avoid Conflict

Some people will not tell the truth because the truth may lead to conflicts. Example: A father gave a son a very expensive set of sunglasses. The son, becoming careless lost it. The father notices that the son is not wearing the sunglasses anymore. The father asked the son about it. The son tells the father that a friend borrowed it, etc.

4. To Have their Own Way.

Kids lie to their parents so that they can have what they want. “Mom, I will have a group study tonight so I will be late coming home.” The truth is, he did not have a group study.

5. Avoid Embarrassment.

Sometimes telling the truth will put us in a very embarrassing situation so what people do is lie their way out of embarrassment.

For example, a live-in couple was publicly asked, “How long have you been married?” to which they answered, “about four years.” They failed to mention that they were NOT MARRIED.

6. Because of the thrill lying brings.

Some people lie for no apparent reasons. It could be that they are enjoying the “adrenalin rush” of lying.

So, generally speaking people lie to CONTROL the outcome of something for their own personal/selfish ends. An employee lies on his report so that he can remain with the company or he can get a refund for something he did not spend. A child lies to his parents so that he can spend time with his friends or lie on a non-existent contribution in school just to get some extra cash to spend on himself. A husband lies to his wife about his whereabouts to avoid conflict. A businessman lies to maximize his profit. A Christian lies to get approval from fellow Christians.

Are some lying condoned in Scripture?

There is ONE instance in the Bible where lying is looked upon by some as acceptable: Joshua 2:3-13 where Rahab the prostitute lied to protect the spies of Israel. It looks like her lying was acceptable because God blessed her and honored what she did (accepting the spies) and preserved her family. In fact, Rahab is included in Christ’s genealogy.

Let’s discuss this for a deeper understanding:
1. This is the ONLY time in the whole Bible where lying looks acceptable. There is no other example.

2. The persons lied to were wicked people who were out to kill the spies and destroy Israel.

3. The reason for lying was to preserve lives from certain death. Notice that it was not the life of Rahab that was at stake here, but the lives of the spies. This is a very important aspect of this type of lying. It is not to preserve oneself, but to preserve the lives of others. When Peter lied about his relationship with Jesus he was actually trying to preserve himself instead of standing by his Lord and Master. Peter’s lying is different from Rahab’s in this regard.

4. Never in Scripture is the lying of Rahab condoned or praised. What was praised was her faith in the God of the Jews. This becomes clear when we find Rahab’s name in the Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11. So, she was commended for her faith, not her lying. (Hebrews 11:31)

Situational Ethics (for discussion):
As a Christian: What will you do if people are running after someone because they want to kill him and that someone happens to hide in your house? What will you do? What will you tell his pursuers when they ask you about it?

II. Applying the Command

How are we to live a life without lying?

A. You have to understand that lying is a sin no matter what color it is.

As Christians we are supposed to exhibit the nature of God and God’s nature is Truth. Lying or being dishonest for whatever reason is against the nature of God.

B. Confess your lying to God.

Lying is a sin and must be confessed to God (1 John 1:9).

C. Get out from a life of lying – surrender your life to God.

We lie because there are areas of our lives that have not yet been totally surrendered to God. We protect those areas with lies.

Some people are living a lie and the natural consequence of this is to tell lies.

The only true evidence that you have truly repented from lying is when you begin telling the truth.

D. Do not be part of anything illegal or sinful.

If you have nothing to hide, there will be no need to lie in the first place.

E. Always speak the truth.

The only way to get out of a lie is to tell the truth no matter what. Telling the truth may have some temporary consequences, but telling lies has eternal repercussions.

F. Trust God to bless you when you tell the Truth.

Telling the truth in some situations is to trust God to work in your behalf. To tell a lie is to put things in your own hands.

Conclusion
Lying leads to more lies. The only way to get out of it is to stop lying and be truthful. It is important that we remember what Revelation 21:8 says, "all liars -- their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur."

KEEP YOUR WORD – BE HONEST!!!

Mid-Week Bible Study (March 10 2010)

The Living Rock Church of Iloilo City
MID-WEEK BIBLE STUDY
March 10, 2010

Text: Matthew 5:27-30

Series Title
THE COMMANDMENTS OF CHRIST

Bible Study Lesson
COMMANDMENT #7 – DO NOT LUST
by Pastor Norman S. Lao


Introduction
Commandment #1 – REPENT
Commandment #2 – FOLLOW ME
Commandment #3 – REJOICE
Commandment #4 – LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE
Commandment #5 – HONOR GOD’S LAW
Commandment #6 – BE RECONCILED

Tonight we are going to cover the SEVENTH Command of Christ found in Matthew 5:29,30 which is DO NOT LUST.

Matthew 5:27-30
27 "You have heard that it was said, `Do not commit adultery.' 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. “

I. Understanding the Command

There is a world of difference in the UNDERSTANDING of the Old Testament (OT) and the New Testament (NT) with regards to the command NOT TO COMMIT ADULTERY. I must remind you that we are in the New Testament!

In the Old Testament you have to consumate the act to transgress the commandment. In the New Testament you transgress the commandment by just lusting (without actually committing adultery) with a woman/man.

Let’s define some words to help us understand the import of the commandment.

ADULTERY - extramarital sex: voluntary sexual relations between a married person and somebody other than his or her spouse. In other words, a married man/woman who has a sexual relationship outside of that marriage commits adultery. (Note: Those who have multiple wives – like Muslims and other peoples of other cultures – are not committing adultery because they have sexual relationships with their own wives.)

In the NT, Jesus raised the standard much higher and introduced a new concept: Adultery of the Heart, HEART ADULTERY. In other words, you don’t have to act on it to commit it. By lusting after someone you can commit adultery (or fornication for singles) with him/her already.

LUST - sexual desire: the strong physical desire to have sex with somebody, usually without associated feelings of love or affection. (More on this below.)

It looks like Jesus has put the same weight on ADULTERY BY ACTION and ADULTERY BY DESIRE.

Scripture is totally against adultery

A. It is the seventh of the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20 (Decalogue). Exodus 20:14.

B. Leviticus 20:10 provides the death penalty to adulterers.

C. According to Proverbs 6:32, adultery is self-destructive.

D. In the New Testament the term “Sexual Immorality” and “Immorality” includes adultery (besides fornication, lesbianism, homosexuality, bisexuality, sodomy, etc., etc.).

E. Hebrews 13:4 states that God will judge the adulterer.

F. Christians are commanded not to associate even with Christians who are know to be adulterers (1 Corinthians 5:9)

G. Revelation 21:8 has a list of people who are going to be thrown into the lake of fire and sexually immoral people are one of them.

II. Some Questions*

1. Why do men lust?

"Men are hard-wired so that the body of an average woman attracts them. Males seek out females in the great majority of societies, and how a woman appears is usually what first attracts a man and encourages him to risk rejection to develop a relationship. Attraction is completely normal. What isn’t normal is for a woman not to attract a man. Generally, the more distinctively female a woman is, the greater her attractive power, and the more distinctively male a man looks, the greater his attractiveness. Looking by itself isn’t lusting, but continuing to look can lead to lust."

Some men are more attracted to women than are others. Women are also visually attracted to men to a greater or lesser degree, so this isn’t exclusively a male problem, but probably more men due to a more visual imagination, than do women. Some studies show that males score higher than females in visual spatial tests, for example. So whereas gossip may be more tempting for women, lust is more tempting for men, generally.

2. So if attraction is natural and God made us the way we are, what’s the problem?

Selfishness is also natural, but isn’t right. Eating is natural, but gluttony is a sin. Appreciation is natural, but lust is a sin. Likewise, sin transforms attraction into lust. Lust (epithumia= “desire, passionate longing”- New American Standard Concordance Greek Dictionary, sv. #1939) is attraction which is out of control, and does not come from God, but from the flesh and the world (1 John 2:16).

a. Many young men who confess they lust think it’s a minor, almost natural condition--a fact of life. But Jesus’ teaching should shock. Not only is lust unnatural, but it is worse than deadly—without repentance it will literally put you in hell. Jesus told us that lustful looking is the same in God’s estimate as going to bed with the woman, which is adultery (v. 28). He warns adulterers (those married who have sex outside of marriage) and fornicators (generally the unmarried having sex) that they will be punished in the lake of fire, apart from repentance and faith in Christ (1 Corinthians 6:9-10, 18).

b. A lot of films coming out of Hollywood provoke people to sexual immorality (example: Sex and the City, Californication, etc.) Many American movies have scenes of sexual promiscuity or worse. Rap music often debases women as objects of scorn and as playthings. Pornography flourishes on the Internet, and provocative magazine covers are visible at almost every checkout counter. Lust supports and is in turn enflamed by many such enterprises.

c. Lust desires the woman sexually, sometimes suddenly. Tenderness in married love is twisted into selfish exploitation of the woman, which leaves her used, possibly pregnant, and possibly with a sexually transmitted disease.

d. Sexual sin by a Christian is particularly offensive to God because it involves our body, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 3:16), not an instrument of sin. It’s also idolatry, because we put more value upon a female (or male) body (creation) than we do upon God (Creator).

3. Steps toward adultery (using King David and Bathsheba from 2 Samuel 11):

a. It begins with a look. (David SAW Bathsheba bathing.)

b. The look is entertained and turns to lust.

c. A deadly step: interest. (David inquired after the woman. Who is she?)

d. Power or influence is used to support the lust.

e. Proximity (David had the woman brought to him). Joseph fled Potiphar’s wife, but David brought Uriah’s wife close to himself.

f. Justification of the situation. There is no doubt that a battle was raging in the mind and heart of King David before the consummation of adultery. A wrong situation becomes right through
justification.

g. A willing partner. Even though David was a King, Bathsheba could have refused, resisted or rebuked him. We don’t find any evidence or indication of any of these from Bathsheba’s side. It is safe to assume that Bathsheba was a willing partner in crime here. Adultery does not happen with only one – it takes two to tango, as they say.

h. Consummation. David slept with Bathsheba and in due time she became pregnant.

i. Judgment. God always judges sin; if not now, then later.

How to avoid lust/adultery

• If you’re unmarried and cannot control yourself, marry (1 Corinthians 7:9).

• However, marriage obviously doesn’t solve the problem of illicit sexual relations or there would be no adultery.

• Don’t let a woman capture you with her eyes (Proverbs 6:25) and avoid the home of the loose woman (Proverbs 7:7-27).

• If necessary, simply flee, as Joseph did when a woman tried to seduce him (Genesis 39:12). “Flee immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18).

• Christians who fall into adultery are those who usually become negligent in their personal devotional life causing them to lose their fear and love for God.
  

• Before committing yourself to adultery ask yourself if you are willing to pay the price of destroying your name, hurting the person you married, having your kids live with the stigma of an unfaithful father (or mother), eternal consequences. Is adultery really worth all these?
  

• Always be clear-minded. Avoid things that might interfere with right thinking, like intoxicating drinks and drugs which may remove inhibitions.

• A joyful marriage—including rejoicing in each other sexually—is perhaps the best antidote. Keep yourself in good physical shape and look as good as God has made you to be. Date your wife and keep variety in your sexual love. Talk about your spouse all the time.

Conclusion
Adultery is destructive both in the physical and spiritual aspects of one’s life. Adultery causes great pain to the husband/wife, destroys marriages, devastates children and closes the door of heaven to those who practice it.

DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY – DO NOT LUST!

God bless you!


__________
*This section was taken from a material written by Jim Sutherland (http://www.rmni.org/teaching-resources/commands-of-christ/7th:-do-not-lust.html)

Mid-Week Bible Study (March 3 2010)

The Living Rock Church of Iloilo City
MID-WEEK BIBLE STUDY
March 3, 2010

Text: Matthew 5:23,24

Series Title
THE COMMANDMENTS OF CHRIST

Bible Study Lesson
COMMANDMENT #6 – BE RECONCILED

by Pastor Norman S. Lao


Introduction
Commandment #1 – REPENT
Commandment #2 – FOLLOW ME
Commandment #3 – REJOICE
Commandment #4 – LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE
Commandment #5 – HONOR GOD’S LAW

Tonight we are going to cover the Sixth Command of Christ found in Matthew 5:23,24:

23 "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,

24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”

I. Understanding the Command

Before we can obey the Command we need to understand it first.

A. The context of the command (Matthew 5:21-22). A discussion on ANGER precedes (goes before) the Command to BE RECONCILED.

1) Not all anger is sinful.

Anger is a natural human emotion placed by God in us for a purpose.

a) Jesus was angry at the people selling and exchanging money in the temple (Matthew 21:12; Mark 11:15)
b) Jesus was angry at the hard-heartedness of the Pharisees and religious leaders (Mark 3:5)
c) Paul was angry at Elymas because he was hindering the Gospel (Acts 13:8-11)
d) Moses was angry at the Israelites for making and worshipping the Golden Calf idol. (Exodus 32:19)
e) Parents get angry with their children. When children disobey parents have the right to get angry.
f) A pastor may be angry at members who are trying to divide the church. (Read 3 John)
g) A parent may be angry at a teacher who slaps his/her child.
h) A customer may be angry for receiving damaged goods or a faulty service.
i) A teacher may be angry at a student who is caught cheating.
j) A man may be angry at the drunk driver who killed his son.
k) _________________________________
l) _________________________________

2) Anger is sinful when:

a) The motivation is selfish and self-serving.
b) The mouth begins to spit out evil and hurtful words. This is the context of our text: “Raca!” and “You Fool!” Raca is a Chaldean word meaning “O, you empty-headed one.” The Greek word for “fool” is MOROS and it means “dull or stupid, a blockhead.” (This could be where the English expression “You moron!” comes from.)
c) Anger turns to hatred and vengeance.
d) Permitted to linger. The Bible says, “do not let the sun go down on your anger.” (Ephesians 4:26)
e) It is done quickly and frequently.
f) It is out of control and involves physical contact.
g) One refuses to forgive even when the other has made steps toward reconciliation.

3) Identifying Steps to Anger

a) It always begins with an offense – a wrong word, a wrong action, a wrong look, a wrong actuation etc. The offense may be real or imagined, sometimes it is simply misinterpreted.
b) This results in a hurt feeling. The steps/stages/ levels of anger depends to a large degree on the initial offense.
c) Bitterness. A lingering hurt feeling.
d) The desire to get even. This results in actions or words that is designed to hurt the person who has offended you. Do not forget “vengeance” belongs to God. (Hebrews 10:30)
e) Verbal exchanges/abuse. This happens when anger is met with anger. This may involve belittling comments, accusations, labeling, cursing, etc. (That’s why the Book of Proverbs gives us a very effective advice: “A gentle answer turns away wrath [anger].” Proverbs 15:1)
f) Physical contact. Perhaps this is the highest level in anger when one person begins to physically hurt the other or both do so to each other. Some, in so doing end up killing another.
g) Breaking up of the relationship.
h) Hatred a feeling of hostility.

4) What the Bible says about Anger:
a) A person who hates his brother/sister is a murderer and has no eternal life in him/her (1 John 3:15).
b) Frequent anger is a sign of a fool (Ecclesiastes 7:9).
c) Anger does not glorify God (James 1:20).
d) You can be angry without sinning (Ephesians 4:26).

B. The original word for “Reconcile” here is DIALLASO and it means “to change thoroughly.” It involves the restoration of a relationship that was broken. Two other Greek words which are translated “reconcile” are KATALLASSO, which means “to return to favor” (that is, from disfavor) and APOKATALLASSO, which means “to bring back a former state of harmony.”

Synonyms/Related Words: settle, patchup, reunite, bring together, ending of conflict.


It is because of anger that the command to reconcile is given. Since no one is perfect our relationships can get into trouble once in a while due to anger. The antidote to this is RECONCILIATION.

C. God is more concerned with your relationship with your Brother/Sister than He is with your Gifts to Him.

1) We cannot offer an acceptable offering if we are angry with our brother/sister. Remember Cain?

2) Our relationship with one another is the reflection of our relationship with God (1 John 4:20)


II. How to Apply the Command

When relationships grow sour or are broken, there are a couple of ways they can be mended. One of these is through TIME. We have a saying, “Time heals all wounds.” Every saying has a weakness and the weakness of this saying is that it does not apply to all situations and to all persons. So, it may be true to some, but not to others.

Healed through TIME? Time may help make one forget the gravity of the offense or the initial feelings that one felt when the offense was fresh, but time settles nothing. In fact, Time avoids the settlement.

The command to be reconciled DOES NOT leave the reconciling to Time but to the OFFENDING party.

Listen to the Word of the Lord:

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,...” (Matthew 5:23)

“leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:24)

The steps are:
1. If you remember someone who has something against you. Notice: It is not YOU having something against someone -- it is the other person having something against you. What does this mean? The Bible says, “As long as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18). You can ignore your own feelings, but you cannot ignore other people’s feelings. For their sake you have to go and be reconciled with them.

2. Go to him and be reconciled. In other words, go to him and settle matters with him/her. Important: the verse says nothing about the reaction or response of the other party. The important part here is that YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING ABOUT IT. That part is the only part you can control. You can never control the reaction/response of the other person.

3. Then return and offer your gift.

In Matthew 18:15-17 we find the following steps:

15 "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault , just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that `every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Conclusion
The relationship between God and man was broken by sin. The relationship was severed. The first one to make a move toward reconciliation was God, not man. (Romans 5:8-11) To make the first move is to be mature, spiritual and better.

DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE TO WHOM YOU NEED TO BE RECONCILED TODAY? GO AND BE RECONCILED!